The Garden of Friendship: Great Blog Post

We used to water those gardens oh-so-frequently, but we haven't talked about our friendships in a while.

This link is from Growing in Grace Online, and the post is entitled: What Happened to the Friendship?

Enjoy!

The Garden of Friendship - Unto edification

Time to spruce up those gardens again! One of the things that is very important in a Christian friendship is that each individual is committed to edifying the other! The American Heritage Dictionary defines edify: To instruct especially so as to encourage intellectual, moral, or spiritual improvement.

It is wonderful to enjoy your friends, to have long conversations and to do fun things together, but our friendships as women of God should have a deeper purpose ...

...to build up and encourage in the things of the Lord.

Here are some Scriptures on that very subject. I'm using the NKJV here:

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph 4:29

"Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another." Romans 14:19

"... Let all things be done for edification." I Cor 14:26

Of course, our favorite verse fits in here so well. Philippians 4:8 "Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things."

I think that if we are with our friends, and we are careful to speak of and focus on things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy, that we will speak unto edification -- will we not? If we are consistently meditating on these things, we will surely speak of them.

Just a reminder for all of us - yes, me too - to think about.

The Garden of Friendship - Gossip

I think that as women, one of our biggest sins is misuse of our mouths. Whether you are by nature talkative or quiet, you may deal with the temptation to gossip with your friends and aquaintances. So many times I recall a conversation I had and wonder, "was that gossip?"

Will you join me in reflecting on a few points that may help us with this tendency? I need this too!

1. Gossip may often be disguised as, "we need to pray for ..." Using the need for prayer as a reason to talk about someone else's personal business is not okay. I know I have done this, and I am heartily ashamed. There are times when it is legitimate to bring up a situation as a prayer request. Pray that God will give you wisdom in this matter.

2. Be a secret keeper. It is sooooo easy to "let it slip." When friends tell you something in confidence, carefully guard their information. I would like to add that it is okay to let a secret out is when someone tells you something that could seriously harm them. We shouldn't glibly promise to keep a secret when we know we can't. In that situation, it is proper to inform the person that if they do not share their information with someone they trust, you may have to. "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." Prov 11:13

3. Gossip is sinful. This sin is not to be taken lightly. Our speech is to be always with grace, seasoned with salt. (Col 4:6) Is what we are saying helpful and edifying? Does it lift another up or tear down?

4. Be humble. Don't be afraid to go back after having an unwise conversation and apologize to the friend you had it with. This is pleasing to God, and it may help your friends to think twice before giving in to gossip. "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body." Prov 26:22

Any other thoughts on this subject? I could go on and on, but time doesn't permit. How do you avoid gossip?

The Garden of Friendship - Helping Others

This is more of a thank you post then an exhortation! Some of you I know personally, and others I know from "blog-land." I have seen the servant's hearts that you have.

One of the ways that we can be good friends is to find little helpful things to do that will make our friend's lives easier.

This post is about my sister, but of course she is my friend as well.

Right now, hubby is very busy and has to be away overnight at times. This is a difficult season for our little family even though it is temporary. I don't like being home alone overnight, and our little daughter misses her Daddy and is sad when he isn't there to tuck her in. We know that he is doing this for the good of our whole family and that it is hard for him too. We only have eight weeks left - Yippee!! God has been faithful as always.

But I digress. My sister has been sweet enough to come over and stay with us when hubby is away. This makes life very happy and we look forward to our "girlie" weekends. I don't know how she puts up with Selena saying "hi dee-dee" over and over and over. And over.

see the smile on Lena's face?

So thank you so much Neesie, for helping us through this season of life. We are going to have so much fun pumpkin picking tomorrow.

The Garden of Friendship

Hello --- its about time to water those gardens again, is it not? Today I want to talk briefly about the listening ear.

Scenario set up:

You've waited for days to tell a close friend about an experience you went through. Finally, you know she is available so you give her a call. While you are talking, you notice that her answers aren't always appropriate to your statements. Listening to the background noise coming from the other end of the phone, you hear her fingers busily TYPING as you are talking. This isn't the best feeling!

I must admit that I have done this -- especially to my poor mom. We talk every morning on the phone, and sometimes we type in each other's ears. Sorry mom! But seriously, this is not a good habit to get into.

Another common problem that we have is thinking about our response while someone else is talking. This prevents us from truly listening the way we should.

Follow-up is another area of need. When a friend asks us for prayer, we shouldn't glibly say "I'll be praying!" I realized that I was typing this into many comment boxes on many blogs -- making it impossible to remember all the requests that I was promising to pray for. A simple notepad will solve this problem. Just write the name and request down, and you will be able to pray when you promise to. You will also remember to follow up on the request and see how the person is making out.

Try to practice listening this week. I will too! Girls, those gardens are lookin' great ...

The Garden of Friendship

Girl Reading a Letter at
an Open Window
Johannes Vermeer
c.1654-7

Time to water our gardens again!

One fine day, when we still lived in our second floor apartment, I waddled downstairs (I was pregnant at the time) to get the mail.

I was delighted when, amidst the bills and circulars, I found a card addressed to me! It was from a very dear friend that I do not see often. The card was beautifully handmade, and inside was a handwritten note of friendship.

The fact that my friend took the time to make me a card, and write me a letter made me feel loved. This is a wonderful way to water our friendship gardens!

Here are some letter writing hints:

1. Use nice stationary, or even make your own!

2. Use proper etiquette.

3. Think about your friend while you write, reflect on how much you care for them and why.

4. Make sure you don't go on and on about yourself! Ask questions about your friend, or perhaps recall some fun experiences that you had with your friend.

5. Write with a special pen. I love the excitement of filling a crisp, blank piece of paper with bold script!

6. Hint to your friend that you would love to receive a "real" letter in return!

I close with the words of Paul to Timothy in his loving letter:

"To Timothy, a beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing, I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you ... " 2Timothy 1:2-5a

Two reminders!

Next week -- the website will be updated ... take a look if you remember.

In two weeks -- we will be featuring an article from a guest blogger -- this article was a blessing to me when I read it, and pray that God will use it for all of you.

The Garden of Friendship

Would your friends say this about you?


"(Fill in the blank) is a great friend. I can always count on her, and I know she cares about me."


In the weeks ahead, I'll be posting some tips on ways to water the garden of friendship. Once you've planted those initial seeds, you can't just take off and expect the garden to grow. I haven't always done as much as I could to cultivate my garden, so let's learn together!

I guess from the graphic on the top of this post, you already know that I am going to suggest that you plan a little tea party for you and a friend. The above picture shows three young women, but why not pick one friend and spend some really great quality time with her?

It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive at all. In these modern days of blogging, IM and email, maybe we don't communicate face to face as much as we could. Believe me, I use all these forms every day in my daily life, so I'm not putting them down!

Here are five steps to get you started:

1. Pick a friend that you haven't "caught up" with lately.

2. Send her a little invitation -- in the mail :-)

3. Brew a perfect pot of tea, make sandwiches, and something sweet!

4. Start your time with prayer. Pray that your speech would be edifying to the Lord.

5. Spend some time with her, talking and listening.

Enjoy yourself! You can get as creative or simple as you like!

If you have a tea party, and happen to get some good snapshots of it (I love pictures), email them to me at joyousmommie@girlinside.com. I don't know, maybe they'll get posted!